Love Hurts: Consumers Finding Romance Scams with Some Internet Dating Services

Dating Service Do's and Don'ts: Use your head while following your heart this Valentine's Day

The New York State Consumer Protection Board (CPB) today released its list of Dating Service Do's and Don'ts based on the latest consumer complaints and scams now appearing in many online matchmaking services

"Scam artists are always looking to exploit vulnerable people, which is why dating services can be prime targets for financial ripoffs," said Mindy Bockstein, Acting Chairperson and Executive Director of the Consumer Protection Board (CPB). "With hundreds of sites available, online dating is one of the most-popular means of meeting a partner. But if one is not careful, you could end up with a broken heart and a drained bank account."

Con artists can gain the trust of people searching for soulmates online and when they meet Mr. or Ms. Right, they can be easy targets for fraud.

"Many people prefer to bear the financial losses in silence rather than disclose the hundreds and, even thousands, of dollars lost to a con artist," said Acting Chairperson Bockstein. One exception is Julia Abrantes of New York City who is now active in an Internet news and support group that is helping consumers recognize the warning signs of Internet dating frauds ("RomanceScams" discussion group at Yahoo.com: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/romancescams)

Ms. Abrantes thought she met Mr. Right through an online dating service, but the man was actually following a script.

"He was wooing me with love letters and poetry stolen from various Internet sites and he changed the wording to keep me interested," Ms. Abrantes said. The man told tall tales about himself before requesting money from Ms. Abrantes and eventually sending her a fraudulent check in a manner similar to Nigerian email scams that are so prevalent today.

With the help of dating service experts, the CPB today released a list of Dating Service Do's and Don'ts, including the warning signs for common scams and other ripoffs with some online dating services:

1. Go slow before going steady:: Proceed with caution when meeting someone through a dating service. Be careful not to offer too much information that can identify you or your address. You can usually uncover a con artist if you're persistent in demanding answers to detailed questions.
   
   Use an Internet search engine to verify and gather more information. There have been too many cases of women being stalked or assaulted by strangers they meet online. If you move from online chatting to talking on the phone, use a disposable cell phone or calling card number to avoid the possibility of harassment later on. 
2. There's no free lunch: There are a growing number of "free" dating websites, as well as dating services offering "free" trial memberships. Consumers complain that scam artists use free sites because there is less monitoring and paperwork for subscribers. Additionally, with "free" trial memberships, consumers must check the fine print – which changes frequently with some services – to know when and how to cancel their membership and avoid paying fees. Many of the scammers also use stolen credit cards to purchase long term memberships to the various dating services as well. Remember, just because someone is a paying member does not make them real. 
3. Let's go some place more private: Another red flag is when you "meet" someone on a dating-service website but they want to continue the conversation at a website or an instant messenger service where the conversation will not be monitored. This also allows them to speak to several people at one time. 
4. Sometimes, love is a five-letter word: When you "meet" someone online or when reading their often-invented profile, watch for misspellings and other signs that they may be a con artist who does not live in the United States. 
5. Looks too good to be true: When an online profile includes a professional-looking photograph, that may be a sign that there's more (and less) here than meets the eye. Dating experts also say to look for wedding rings, body or facial features that don't match their profile.
6. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge: Consumers complain that some websites will send you false messages claiming to be from someone interested in meeting you (These messages are called "winks" or "icebreakers.") These phony winks will show up just before a trial membership or your subscription is about to lapse.
7. Like dating a microwave oven: Another sure sign of trouble is when your new online friend professes his love for you in a day or two. Also be wary if someone:
8. demands that you keep the relationship secret
9. claims that it was destiny, fate or God that brought you together
10. immediately requests your address, claiming they want to send you flowers, candy, etc
11. asks for your bank account information or requests that you open an account for them in your name
12. sends you a fake check or money order and ask you to cash it and wire them the money. (Many scammers also send several money orders, in amounts less than $1,000, to their victims);
13. asks you to cover their plane fare or sponsor their VISA so he or she can enter the country legally;
14. asks you for a small loan to get them out of a jam; or
15. asks you to receive and reship merchandise for them.